Middle of ... Nowhere?

Things are moving. And not.

The Lily project is stalled due to re-edits and the need for a firmer direction. Shooting the Matt Davis video this weekend. Stewart Financial, the presentation, went well; dynamic, powerful, fertile, smart ... expensive?

I think they loved my efforts to really wind them out, but I have a feeling they don't like the price. They move a lot of dough these guys, but one should never make the mistake or believe the presumption that this means that these companies like to spend money. Stated goal is to double their assets under management to $200-million in five years, but what I proposed (3% of 1% of their existing portfolio or less than the price of a brand new mid-sized car) may seem too steep for them.

The problem with all this is the same problem I face more or less continuously: lack of liquidity. I earn (modestly) and I spend (appropriately, for the most part), then I typically run out of money and have to scramble all over again (actually, scrambling never ceases). I can't afford to lose this op because I have no fallback. No savings. No new prospects. Nothing.

I have lived this way long enough to know not to beat myself up over my circumstances in life. I hate it but I won't allow myself to internalize this more or less constant sandblasting into cancer. The confusing part is always, "Where is God in all of this?" I don't understand why the Lord isn't overcoming for us the bludgeoning, real world penalty one pays for striving to be His and integral (in the world but not of it) at the same time.

I guess what St. Francis de Sales says (above) is true.

Drag.