Up from Down

Blissful Beginnings 2

We are magnets for spiritual lint.

It's how we're made. Original sin, an inseparable part of our human DOS, starts flapping from the get-go to teach, goad, prompt and persuade us to make decisions that further our ambitions and appetites. Mercenary as it sounds, it is an inherent process. And one that’s recognizable to all of us.

Our conscience keeps us in check for a while, later we learn how to out-muscle it. It isn’t easy to beat or quiet down our conscience (though we pretend it is.)— it’s hard actually and we know it is by the way we feel after we’ve done things we shouldn’t have: We feel bad. 

What a pain, right? 

As long as we continue to let God pull at our heart-strings, we just can’t fully commit to ourselves. The “pleasure” of living independently (that’s what we think it is because that’s what we’re told it is), is just plain ol' compromised and not nearly as much fun as it should be.

Finally we reach the point where we decide to turn our God-spot off altogether. It's your life after all [you rationalize], and you're old & mature enough now to decide for yourself what’s right and best for you. So off you go, ready to seize life on life's terms, no obstacles save for opportunity, nothing to get in the way.

And so it goes. Faster, headier times, new & exciting events, passionate encounters, painful hurts, memories piled atop memories (things to remember, things to forget ). And somewhere in there all this freedom begins to weigh heavily on you. You don’t feel happy. You don’t even feel as happy as you did before you discovered your freedom. In fact you feel worse. Much of the time. And it doesn’t make any sense, and it isn’t fair. But there it is.

And because no else seems to be going through what you're going through (so you think), you feel even more isolated in what you feel. Sure, it's still easy enough to act okay when you’re out with people, but it gets harder and harder to find a spiritual place of rest when you’re all alone.

(cont'd ...)