Home and Away

In my previous post (Inny or Outy?), I made the general observation is that we often struggle with our home and away selves. By that I mean, we can be loving to strangers and unusually strange to those we love.

This weird inversion is more common, I think, than the common cold. It’s in us to want to be attractive to and accepted by the people we meet, partly because every new contact or repeat encounter is another opportunity to build-out or reaffirm the very best version of ourselves. 

Which feels good.

Home, by contrast, is where our grit is, where hope & self-belief can wear down on an unremitting diet of old judgments that makes it hard to be our best, or even just better.

Loving distantly works then because, like television, the boring parts are cut out, we rarely overstay our welcome, and we get to be special on our own terms.

While loving those we live with can feel an awful lot like work.

We need to open the spiritual windows at home, let in some fresh air and permit ourselves to be who we really know & want ourselves to be regardless of how others desire or refuse to see us.

Maybe if our Renovator friend did a little more of the "do" things once in a while, he'd have a happier home to come home to.

Isn't the same true for us?

Both/And ...  Man, I totally need to take note.

Paul sowed, Apollo watered, but God gives the increase ...